I’m a complete doofus…

I realise I write a lot about my personal life (if I write at all…) and that reading about it might not be very interesting, but I don’t really have anyone else to talk to(…?).
Anyway, I had the whole Thursday planned out: I was going to relax, go for a swim, visit my grandmother and end the day with my dad and siblings watching a film. However, that plan was abruptly shattered by the sound called “suspense” on my phone, meaning I got a text message. And suspense it was, indeed, because this text was from my co-worker (slightly higher rank than me) saying she was ill and if I could cover for her.
Firstly, I make myself out to not seem very selfish, but I am indeed. We are all selfish, even those who seem like they’re not. I could go on on this subject, but I’ll save it for later. My first reaction was “Oh my God, my entire day is completely ruined! This couldn’t possibly get worse!”. I know what you’re thinking. That is pretty selfish and awful, but in my defense I did think it through one more time and thought that the reaction to someone telling me they’re ill shouldn’t be “my day is ruined”. (I even thought about telling her I was unavailable, even though my plan was just to lay in bed… terrible, I know). I did end up going though, so don’t be so quick with your stakes and torches. The only thing this prohibited was me going swimming, which I could do any day of the week anyway.
When I got there, for some reason, my brain decided it didn’t know how to do the job and screwed up everything! I really acted like a complete idiot, bumping into my co-worker, destroying things, dropping bottles of soda, dropping hot dogs even, and just generally being really stupid. I felt like a moron. To make matters worse I was working with the most nitpicky of all the girls, commenting on everything I did wrong. I left work in the rain, very embarrassed and very soaked.
When I got home, just half an hour ago, I got a message from my grandmum telling me we had to do meet up another time, because she was busy after all.
I can still watch a movie with my family, though. Unless they all decide I’m no fun and want to do something else.

Just a quick update: Philosophy Wednesday is getting increasingly difficult. I simply haven’t had time at all and I’m starting to re-think the decision. Even the name doesn’t really fit, because it’s not as much philosophy as it’s just thinking out loud. It doesn’t really make sense to you that I’m telling you this, but most of the topics I’ve thought of aren’t even philosophical questions, more like reflections of everyday things. Like “isn’t it weird how…”. And that just makes me seem stupid.
I have bought a video camera and I would like to do something with it, but I am very camera shy. I’ll get there after a while.

The reason posts are coming so rarely right now is because on top of work I’ve got band practice, driving lessons and we are currently moving, so there’s a lot occupying me at the moment. Hope you’re not mad.

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